Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
