Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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