I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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