Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
