Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
