I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
