Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
