Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(803): View more from South Carolina

im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk

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(716): View more from New York

it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.

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(713): View more from Texas

Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight

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(740): View more from Ohio

Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night

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(434): View more from Virginia

Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.

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(514): View more from Quebec

fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous

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(419): View more from Ohio

Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.

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