You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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