well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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