maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
