You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
