the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I can't put those talents on a resume
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
