She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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