hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Farmville is her only friend.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
