it was like eating out sand paper
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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