I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
