Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
