her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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