guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
