my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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