Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
