I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I need to sanitize my soul.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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