I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
