In the future we'll all be gay
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
