what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
