no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
