everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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