So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Randomize
