your thong is hanging out like whoa
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
