He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
