Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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