We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
