told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
