he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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