Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
