I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
