He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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