We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Randomize
