Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
