we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
