also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
your like the ambassador to my penis.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
