i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
