As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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