Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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