we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
