She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
