I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
