when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
