he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Damn victory sex feels great
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
