So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
